Baby crying. Walk across our bedroom to her crib, bring her back to our bed, prop up my pillows and start nursing.

She’s crying again. Husband, Rick, is going to try a binky. Can’t find her binky, so he gets Kyle’s binky from his crib. We have twins, a boy and a girl, 4 months old. She won’t take the bink, so Rick brings her over to me for more nursing. This little girl just cannot sooth herself to sleep.

Now they’re both crying. Binkies for both (Rick had to run downstairs to get a second binky). Neither of them want their binkies. Must nurse. Rick takes Laura to the bathroom for a diaper change and I start nursing Kyle.

Both babies fed and burped. Kyle’s asleep. Laura’s still crying. She’s Rick’s mission now, he takes her for rocking, bouncing, walking. At least our four year-old daughter, Keira, hasn’t come into our room yet. I’m hungry, thirsty, tired. Laura’s now asleep in her crib. Rick returns to bed and starts pressing against my back. He’s horny. How can he be frisky when we all should be sound asleep? There’s just no way I can muster up any energy right now for romance. Poor Rick.

I feel Rick lifting Laura from my lap. I had fallen asleep nursing again. Kyle is crying and Rick brings him to me. I nurse Kyle.

Kyle’s now asleep, I lay him in his crib.

Laura’s now crying. I bring her to our bed, lay her on my pillow, and she’s content. I’m thirsty. Ah, there’s still some water in the water bottle beside my bed. Take a drink. Laura’s now asleep like a little cherub on my pillow. I’m not moving her! Back to sleep.

Rick gives me a kiss good-bye and we both complain about how rough last night was. I need to get up now though. Lots to do to get all of us ready and out the door by 8:30. But, I just want to sleep. Rick re-sets the alarm for me for 7 am and hopefully has started the coffee.

Four-year-old Keira just came in, all proud of herself for sleeping in her own bed all night. Laura and Kyle are awake now too, and smiling, probably proud of themselves for causing such a ruckus last night.

Sitting in bed, in a daze, both babies lying here kicking, cooing and smiling. So cute! Keira’s on the floor with our chocolate lab, Maggie, pretending she’s Maggie’s puppy.

Okay, get moving. Wash face, brush teeth, wet and mousse my hair so it stops sticking straight up. Try to convince Keira to put on clean underwear from her drawer, not her favorite Little Mermaid underwear from the dirty laundry basket. Unsuccessful. Oh well.

Babies crying now. Hungry. Bring everyone downstairs. Quickly pour my coffee, turn cartoons on, pour dry cereal and some orange juice for Keira. Omigod!!! I open the refrigerator and see a large bowl of pasta with shrimp and red peppers and asparagus! I thought I had heard someone come into the house when we were all upstairs, plus Maggie had run downstairs barking her head off (another good clue)! Wow. Wonderful neighbors.

Plop onto the couch and set up to feed both babies.

Babes are fed and changed. I am dressed. T.V. is off. Gotta get Keira’s clothes on and something for us to eat. I’ve asked Keira three times to get dressed and she’s still just playing with her doll. Time to get the diaper bag ready and extra booster seat in the car. Offer to Keira that she can bring her doll to Camille’s house if she gets dressed RIGHT NOW!

Wow, Keira’s actually dressed. Pack bagel and OJ for Keira in the car, running out of time to actually sit at the table for breakfast. Entice her to go brush her teeth, toothbrush is already set up for her, while I strap the twins into their car seats and plug them with their binkies!

Drop Keira off at Patti’s house for pre-school art class. Patti will have her for 2 hours of art and then has offered to keep her for a play date and lunch with her daughter, Camille. Oh Joy! Yes, please! Keep her! Keira, too, is so excited over this plan.

Now, to decide what to do. I have a long to-do list of errands. How important are they? I’m semi-free right now since I’m minus one child, but do I dare go shopping with the twins who will need to be fed again soon and probably will poop sometime in the next couple hours? Hmm. What to do? Let me look at my list. K-Mart for some large items? No way. Maybe The Powerhouse Mall? Yes, I can do that I think -- if they are open this time of day.

First stop: egg mcmuffin. How I hate unhealthy McDonald’s, but LOVE egg mcmuffins! Why can’t there be a chain of healthy, fresh food drive-thru’s? And I’m not talking salads. Drive-thru salads just don’t do it for me. Plus, who can drive and eat a salad anyway?

That’s lucky. Powerhouse Mall opens at 9:30. Time to unload: double stroller and both twins in their car seats. Let’s hope they stay asleep a little while.

Wow! I just watched a woman pull up beside me, hop out of her car and trot into a store. So care-free and easy and quick. And here I am, muscling and lugging.

We did it! We shopped. I got a sweet little white outfit with blue trim for Kyle’s Christening, (I already have a white eyelet dress for Laura). Then it was diaper changes, and an outfit change for Laura who pooped all over the place. We visited the hair salon so I could introduce the twinkies to my hair stylist, Tanya, and that’s where I nursed them one at a time, (twice at once would be way too obscene for public). It was very relaxing nursing in the hair salon waiting area, nice comfy chairs, a glass of ice water and friendly hair girls happy to hold babies!

Next, it was a successful trip to L.L.Bean for a pair of shoes for work, (I still work as a physical therapist 2 afternoons a week for my sanity). Merrills. Love ‘em. So comfy. Struck out at Artifactory, looking for a specific jewelry box for necklaces.

We’re in the car and ready to head home.

Ooh, I just remembered I’ve got to stop at the craft store for Sunday nursery school supplies. I want to make flyable butterflies with the kids… need semi-stiff paper and small dowel rods. Here we go. Turn right inside of left.

I don’t get out much since the twins were born so I’m kind of going crazy with errands today! They’re being so good. Napping in their car seats. Last stop, I promise or I’ll regret it!

Most of mission accomplished. They don’t sell dowel rods, but I found paper and all kinds of scrapbook stuff that I just had to buy. Plus some spring flowers to hang on our door. I just love being out and about with the twins (when they’re not hungry and not crying and not poopy). People just love seeing them and go goo-goo ga-ga over them!

Gotta get home. Gotta pee. Gotta feed babies. They’re awake now. Driving home to the tunes of the Dixie Chicks. Love ‘em!

Home. Leaving everything in the car for now. Just gotta get these twins inside and feed them. Inside, I kick off my muddy shoes (it’s “mud season” in New England), shove part of a muffin in my mouth on my way through the kitchen. Quick pee. Wash hands. Play phone message while I unstrap the babes from their car seats and get them latched on for mommy’s milk. Let’s see, Kyle nursed on my left side last feeding, so he’ll be on the right and Laura on the left.

Relax. Slow down. Breathe.

The message is from Maura, our friend up the street. Can she drop off dinner tonight and her two girls (ages four and five) at 5 p.m? Her babysitter called in sick and she has to go to University of Massachusetts tonight for work. She’s working on her doctorate degree in education.

Called Rick and left message to see if he’s okay with this plan. Me and the twins will be out socializing with my some of my old work buddies from the VA Hospital.

While taking a little rest from nursing and burping (on my mega nursing pillow), the babies smiled at each other. So sweet.

Nursing continues. I hold them both “football style” so they are facing each other. Kyle thinks it’s funny to hear Laura grunting and groaning while she sucks, so he smiles and laughs all while trying to continue nursing. It’s all pretty entertaining actually!

They’re done nursing but now are a bit cranky needing to burp or fart or something. Will try burping and diapers. Off we go. It also look like Kyle needs some boogers sucked out with the bulb syringe. Rick calls me “nose nazi”. I know they’re glad though to have those pesky boogers out of there.

Laid the babies on their play mat. I’m feeling really tired now: heavy eyelids, achy body that really needs some exercise. Keira will be home in about 45 minutes. I think I’ll try to eat something healthy for lunch and then try to rest.

Munching on a carrot while heating this morning’s mystery pasta delivery! Let the dog out. Telephone: it’s Maura. I tell her, yes, to bring the kids over even though I have not yet heard back from Rick. She tells me five year-old Audrey would like us to come over this afternoon. I tell her Keira’s not here right now, but apparently, it’s not Keira that Audrey wants to play with, it’s the babies! I have to decline. I really want to try and get some rest. Maura conveys the message and I hear Audrey sobbing in the background. I promise to bring them over Thursday morning. She sniffles an “okay”.

I’m standing at the counter eating this fabulous pasta. A white wine and pesto sauce (I think) over what appear to be homemade thick noodles, tossed with roasted red peppers, asparagus and huge, tender, perfect shrimp! It’s gotta be from our gourmet cook neighbors, Bob and Ida.

Went back to the car. Got my purse, got the diaper bag, got the McDonald’s trash, got the four shopping bags, got the mail, and got Maggie inside all in one trip. Wow. Time is running out for a rest.

Oh my gosh! The babies are holding hands on their play mat! Kyle rolled toward Laura and has her hand in both of his, looking curiously at each other! Sweeties they are. It must be pretty cool to have a twin.

Telephone. It’s Rick. He’ll take the kids tonight, no problem. I tell him about the awesome pasta and he says it is indeed from Bob who sent an e-mail letting us know. It said, “Dinner is in your fridge.”

Check e-mail. Good thing I checked. The dinner with my co-workers is postponed. Too many people can’t make it or are sick. So, I call Rick to let him know. Fire off an e-mail thanking and praising Bob.

Lay Laura in her crib with binky. Minimal fussing! Put on some soft classical music. Nurse Kyle one more time, he falls asleep. Lay him in his crib.

Keira should be here any minute. Hopefully when she arrives, the barking dog won’t awaken everyone. That reminds me, I gotta fill Maggie’s water dish. I saw her drinking from a mud puddle outside, a good indication that she needs water in her dish! It’s tough work taking care of everyone and Maggie too! There’s not enough of me to go around, though today’s been pretty easy just having the twins and not Keira as well.

Keira’s home. Thank Patty profusely! Drink for Keira. Tell her it’s quiet time. Babies are already sleeping. She can lie in my bed with me as long as she’s quiet.

Keira’s playing quietly under the covers. Laura’s eyes are open and she’s experimenting with her voice. Move her to my bed for easier “binking”.

Kyle’s fussing now. Negative sniff check of the pants. Let’s try a bink and his Winnie the Pooh mobile over his crib. I just would really like a short nap!

Crying escalates. No rest for the weary. Mix bottles. (The twins get two afternoon bottles of formula a day. Since I work 2 afternoons a week, I’ve “trained” my body not to need to feed from 2 – 6 p.m.)

Back upstairs. Feed bottles, Kyle in my lap, Laura lying up on a pillow. Keira announces she has to go poop. I tell her she needs to try and wipe herself this time. I hear from the bathroom, “I’m done!” I try to verbally coach her from my bedroom how to wipe (once she reports it has been a hard poop, not a soft one… can’t be too messy, I hope.) She says she’s trying but she just can’t reach, so, okay, I extract the babies’ bottles, eliciting loud crying from both.

I wipe Keira. She starts goofing off putting both of her legs in one pant leg. I don’t have time for this. The babies are screaming. Keira cries too saying she needs help with her pants and I tell her, “No, you know how to put your pants on.” Now all three kids are bawling. I wash my hands and try not to lose it. “Wash your hands, Keira.” She doesn’t. She goes into my bedroom and lays beside the hysterically crying babies, covering her ears with her hands.

I physically assist Keira back to the bathroom. I help her hands find the water and the soap. She takes a large scoop of water and throws it at me. That’s it. I help her hands find the towel and I tell her she is not welcome back in my room. (The twins are still crying, by the way, at an ever increasing volume.)

I remove Keira’s blanket and 2 stuffed animals from my room. I escort Keira out as well, and close and lock my door. Screaming. Crying. Fists pounding on my door. Being a STAHM is so joyful.

With elevated blood pressure and clenched jaw, I try to sooth the babies and try to get them calm enough to take their bottles again while Keira tries to bust my door down.

Bottles are empty. Laura is asleep. Kyle continues to fuss, burp and fart. I can hear Keira playing with her legos and her dollhouse. If I can get Kyle settled, then I can give Keira the attention she so desperately wants. (You’d think she’d like to help me feed babies, but, no, that got old fast for her.)

Game of Chutes and Ladders with Keira and a Cheerios snack, and Kyle in my lap.

Laura crying. Will hold her in my lap while Keira and I play third and final round of Uno.

I just finished reading Cinderella to Keira with both babies on my lap. I really need to pick up this house but it’s so bad I don’t know where to start.

Telephone. Rick’s leaving work and will stop at the grocery store. I put in a movie for Keira. Downtime. She chooses to watch The Nutcracker Ballet – excellent choice if I do say so myself!

Quick snack for me: three scrambled eggs with lots of salt. Nursing women have to listen to their cravings, right?!

SHOOT! I burned the eggs while leaving them unattended and moving the now-sleeping Kyle from the living room floor to the pack-and-play. Oh well, the eggs are still delicious. Keira’s lying on the couch, mesmerized by the movie, looking like she needs to go to sleep. Ah! I just realized it’s almost 5 o’clock. Not too early for a glass of wine. Hopefully this STAHM gig won’t turn me into an alcoholic. I’m not drinking alone… there’s three others here, and a dog!

Maura and the girls just arrived. The four year-olds (Grace and Keira) immediately change into dress-up clothes, put on music and start dancing all around. Audrey, the five year-old’s sole mission is to take care of these babies. The extra hands, though overly enthusiastic hands, are welcome right now: both babies are crying again.

I mix bottles while Maura gives me the scoop and the girls’ pajamas and hands over a box of mac-n-cheese for dinner! And she’s gone. And Rick’s home.

Audrey and I feed babies. Grace and Keira dance and pretend. Rick puts away groceries and starts prep for dinner. Audrey and I change diapers together.

Now writing, Rick wants me to be sure to mention that I never got around to emptying the dishwasher! He’s teasing me of course. He knows how overwhelming it is to be a STAHM.

Help all the girls in the bathroom and wash their hands. Rick just laid out mac and hotdogs and fruit for them. Now to heat Bob’s dish for us.

Put Laura in the swing. Kyle crying. Nurse him away from the noisy crowd in the kitchen. I forgot to put ointment on Kyle’s face, so now his eczema looks awful.

Save Laura from overzealous Grace. Let’s eat. Two bites. Called to help Keira in the bathroom. Eat again. Chat with Rick. Girls playing on their own. Breathe.

Dessert time: one thin mint Girl Scout cookie for everyone and fresh fruit salad (thanks to Rick). Start to put away left-overs one-handed while carrying a crying Laura. Can’t get too much done. Gotta feed her.

Laura asleep. Ease her into crib. Bribe girls, Audrey and Grace, with left-over Valentine’s candy to get ready to leave. Their adult brother is here to pick them up. Fifteen minutes of getting them out the door, and that’s better than usual!

Kiss Keira good night. Rick’s taking her up for her bath and tuck-in. “Station” Maggie (hook her to her indoor leash) so she doesn’t get into all the food and dirty dishes still left out. Go upstairs to change Kyle and nurse him. Tuck him in.

Both babes are now in clean dipes, clean jammies, they’re fed and asleep in their cribs. Please, please, please sleep well tonight.

Laura crying. Give her some Infant Motrin in case all this fussiness (and drooling and chewing on her fingers) is teething. Rock her back to sleep.

Rick and I finish cleaning up the kitchen. Quick telephone call from my parents. Laura crying again. It’s Rick’s turn. He reappears holding Laura and says they’re gonna watch a little T.V. I’m getting in the shower and hopefully going to bed. I am exhausted.

I feel refreshed and relaxed and ready for sleep after that shower. Teeth brushed. Face moisturized. Zoloft taken. Coffee ready for automatic brewing at 6:45 tomorrow morning. I look in on Keira, then Kyle and Laura. So sweet. So angelic. Nothing better than sleeping children! Please sleep long into the night! I hope this day is done!

Laura crying. Nurse Laura. Back to her crib. Check on Keira – wow, she hasn’t kicked off all her covers yet. Back to my warm, cozy bed. Good night.